starburn- and still sucked out of the bathroom of space

“I don’t know… I feel like something’s off.” Smithann scratched her head and looked down at the floor.

“I don’t know…I feel like something’s off.” Ben2Times said to Stephania and looked down at the motel room floor.

“What do you mean?” Fitz asked.

“What do you mean?” Stephania asked.

“Well, if I listen to him talking in my head it sounds like him but not really, it sounds like someone took over his voice, or maybe I’m talking to two people and… and I know… it sounds crazy.” Smithann said.

“You’re not crazy,” Stephania said.

“You’re crazy,” Fitz looked up at Smithann.  “Why in the world would someone try to intercept Ben2Times soul and if they did then why even bother with the mystery?  Why not just tell you?”

“I don’t know,” Ben2Times glanced around the room suspiciously, “It’s like they’re all here, all the time… saying different things.”

Stephania listened to the drips from the bathroom faucet.  She vaguely heard Glen’s breath rasping in and out from outside the door but choose to just ignore that. He had stopped tapping on the window for now… so at least they had that.

“Listen Ben,”


“Oh I’m sorry I mean Ben2Times, I’m just gonna start okay? I’m gonna tell you what I know.” Stephania said.

She cleared her throat.  “First of all, your name’s not Ben2Times, it’s Ed-“

“Wait, what!?”

Stephania rolled her eyes and fell back on the thin brown comforter.  She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to imagine something more fun to do.  Oh, that was nice.

“Stephania!” Ben2Times yelled, “Stop ignoring me… you…you…’ve been lying there for 3 millenia blinking your eyes and making up stories, tell me what you were going to say!” Ben2Times pleaded.

“Oh,” she sat up and adjusted her buckle, “you’re still here.”

“Wha- you’re goddamn right I’m still here,” Ben2Times looked at her in astonishment, “I’ve been listening to you mumble on and on about sprites and ugly princesses and oars and far-away lands and I’m sick of it.”  He stared at her dark green lips and thought of kissing her even though he was super pissed.

Just then he remembered the other Stephania, the real Stephania. He had to get back to his friend but he couldn’t help but wonder…were her lips as plump as this? Were they exactly the same or slightly different….Could he forget that she was just a replica? Or version? (he still couldn’t figure out what). He looked back from her lips to her pretty red eyes.  “Snap out of it and just tell me.” he said.

“Fine.” she said.

“Okay, fine.” he said.

“Well?” he heard in his head.

“Oh shut up Glen!” Ben2Times roared.

“Whoa, whoa…” Glen said, “I’m just tryin’ tah figure out this mystery business going on…”  Glen pressed his huge eye against the window and started tapping again.


Ben2Times leapt from the bed and charged toward the bathroom door head first.

“Wait!” Stephania yelled and as he came within two inches of the door.

And just like that, he was gone.

“Oh.  Well I knew that was gonna happen.” Stephania said to the empty room.

“I didn’t.” Glen said.

“Ah… just get in here Glen,” she said and started to move the furniture away from the door.

“Good, it was getting cold out here.” Glen said as he saw the last wisp of Ben2Times dissolve in the air.

“You can take it.” Stephania said.

“You’re one to talk you get to be inside the room every time,” Glen said and removed his mask. “I gotta be out here in the cold groaning and tapping… it get’s old Stephania.”

Oooohhhh…. it gets old Stephania… I’m so weak from the cold… I’m so aloooone…”

“Oh shut up you crazy bitch…” Glen strode through the door and plucked his eyeballs back into his head. “Whew… good to see again…  ahhh you’re a sight, awfully green today I see..”

“Save it you old eye bag,” Stephania shot back.

Glen smirked. “You’re coming up with new ones, I see…”

“You’re eye stint gets cornier every time.  And where’d you get that awful hand?” she plopped down on the bed and started unbuttoning her blouse.

“Can you take that in the bathroom? I think we’ve all had enough of your green tits… and you know Jenny#7 don’t like me seeing that, c’mon.”

“Ah, she likes to watch too.”

“No, no she doesn’t.” Glen massaged his eyeballs and walked toward the bathroom door. “And what’s with stripping down and all that hopping business? You’re taking it a little too far, I think.  One of these days he’s gonna catch wise and figure out how ridiculous this is.”

“No… he’s not.” Stephania laughed.  “I mean, every single time. He’s the same every single time.” She curled her body like a cat and took her shirt between her teeth. “It doesn’t matter what I do.”

“Well, I think it does,” Glen replied.  He bent over and picked up a few silver hairs from the carpet. “Look, he’s shedding hairs now? That’s never happened before…. I think something’s changing.”

Stephania smirked and bounced around on the bed.  Glen stared.

“Oh put your eyeballs back in your head…” she said, “He can’t catch wise, how could he?” She stopped bopping and jumped up suddenly. “Oh shit.”

“What? What? I knew it was something.” Glen dropped the silver hairs from his fingers and watched as Stephania ransacked the dresser drawer.

“The movie…” she muttered as she fumbled things around in the drawer. “There was a movie here and we didn’t watch it, didn’t even talk about it.”

“Oh yeah…. I forgot.”

Stephania kept searching.  “Even if we don’t watch it, he usually pulls it out and we talk about it.  Or we just watch the beginning before Tomboy barges in.”

“Wait, which movie?”

Stephania groaned. “Hmm…. I’m not sure.  I don’t know if it was the one about the guy who starts investigating a writer and falls for her or the one where the waiter turns out to be the stalker or… oh yeah there’s one with a dead fairy.  It’s usually one of those three except for that one time…”

Glen walked over to the dresser and then looked under the bed. “Maybe it fell down somewhere.  Is this the only time you guys didn’t do that?”


“Hey don’t get mad at me because you screwed up the-“

“Hey what are you guys doing in here?” Ben2Times stuck his head through the door.

“Oh hey Ben, we’re looking uh…  looking for Glen’s money. Have you seen a blue duffle bag with a cross on it anywhere?”

Ben2Times shook his head slowly and his eyes got slightly bigger.  “No… can’t say I have… was it a lot of money Glen?”

Glen looked at Stephania and then back to Ben2Times. “Hey, Ben umm… how’d you get here so fast?”

“What do you mean? And it’s uh… Ben2Times remember?”

“Oh yeah, um sorry Ben… 2Times um… where’d you go?” Glen asked.

“Oh I just went down to the vending machine to get some sodas and talked to Stacy for a bit, she’s-“

“Where’s the sodas?” Stephania asked.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Where’s the sodas Ben?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Grab him!”

Ben2Times ducked and dove underneath Glen as he catapulted him toward him in the doorway.  Glen’s head slammed into the wall and he passed out while Stephania tried to make her way to the bathroom sink.  She knew if she could just reach behind the pipes and get the package she could fix this.

“Not this time you crazy bitch…” Ben2Times pulled a fisher’s net out from under his shirt and trapped and tied her. She tried to dissolve or morph or spin but nothing worked.  What kind of material was this?

“Wait Ben, I’m your friend! Remember?” she pleaded with him.

“Oh really, Stephania. So what was all that I hear about me not catching wise? Hmm?”

“No, Ben, you have to understand.  We have to do this.  It’s to protect you!” her eyes started to well and drop huge puddle tears, “If we don’t you die, not dematerialize, not just jumping planets, but really die, it happened once and you almost didn’t come back…” she sputtered.

“Is this your real tearjerker drama or you got an onion in your cheek?” he hissed as he tightened the net.

“I’m telling you the truth.  This is what we have to do so you’ll get to the Burger Bop on time.  You have to be there on time.  The 1st.  …and Emclog already ate the egg.  So that means you only have three options left.”

“For the last time, tell me who’s Emclog.”

“I don’t know… he just signed the note…” Stephania stuttered.

Ben2Times tightened the net even smaller.

Ahhh!  Ow that really hurts.  Okay, okay… he’s your partner okay?”

Ben2Times clinched the final space out of the ropes.

Ahhh! He really is! You’re… you’re…”

“I’m what, Stephania, hurting you?” Ben2Times hissed and he noted real tears coming from her pores.

“You’re a spy! An interplanetary spy!” she sobbed. “There’s eleven of you….now… that we know of.  Something happened… something keeps happening… and we don’t know how to fix it!”

Ben2Times dropped the net and sat down heavily on the bed.

Stephania blinked up at him through the net and reformed herself.

“Well, don’t just sit there… come on out.” he said.

She slid out of the net and crawled toward him.  Then she curled up next to him on the bed.

“Let’s just take it easy for a while.” she said and patted his hand.

His eyes felt drowsy and he couldn’t stop himself from rubbing them.

“Look, there in your paw, let’s watch that movie and take a little nap or something….” Stephania whispered.

“Alright, well, wait… why do I have paws?” he mumbled sleepily, “…they’re so furry…” he chuckled softly “And how’s this movie in a box and not up in the air and where’s Glen…” he mumbled and leaned back on the bed.

“Shhhh… shhhh…” Stephania murmured and caressed his head.  “Shhhh, let mommy kiss you there….” she crooned and put her lips against his warm and pulsing neck.

“Stephania.” Glen said firmly.  He was raising himself shakily from the spot by the door.  “Stop that.  You know you can’t screw him.”

“Oh… Glen. You’re up.” she said and rubbed her body closer to Ben2Times.

“Maybe this time I can?  He’ll wake up and let me, right?  Just this once?”



“Exactly.  You know the rules.” 


“Sucked out by the vacuum of space” short story

“Are your fingers crossed?” Stephania asked Ben2Times. They were sitting on the bed of the dirty motel room at the Kand’s End Glen Inn #2.  Nobody knew where Glen was.

The girl down the hall said he had retired to Glen Ken Meadows, down the way, but no one saw him travel there.  Only thing they knew is that they took his money three weeks ago when they checked in on this row.  They being Stephania and Ben2Times in Room 11. Then Jenny #7 in room 10 (she liked to play Texas Hold’em and kept a slew of Jacks tucked under her dirty blouse sleeve), TomBoy in room 9 (no one knew about him) (yet), and Stacy in room 8 (she was very cool and gave them all gum when she passed by) (but it was weird, the only time they ever saw her was when she was passing by, never in a spot or one place or actually somewhere, just walking by) Oh and Stacy liked to mumble.  Something close to “An eye for an eye was all he could buy” was all Stephania could make out.

Ben2Times disagreed, he said she was saying “A buy for an eye was all she could spy…” but that didn’t make sense to Stephania.  They tried to piece it all together.  Stacy was short, that was for sure.  Very short lady!!, as Stephania’s great-great uncle Gadget would say.  He was dead now. 98.  When he died she listened to her aunt moan and moan in the night, it was creepy because she always crept up slowly to the edge of Stephania’s bed when she was sleeping and moaned from down there.

She would wait though.  Aunt San would wait until it was dark or Stephania had just fallen asleep or until she had crept all the way to the bottom of the bed where you couldn’t hear her coming and then start to moan.  Low.

And almost couldn’t hear.  It was not a nice thing and Stephania just lay in the bed with her covers pulled tight to her throat because she didn’t know what to do.  Then the groaning would get a little louder but she was too scared to roll to the bottom or look over the edge and the wall was on the other side of the bed.  Then the hand.  Well, the fingers.  The fingers pale, cold would slide up and grip the very edge of the comforter and start to pull gently.  Then they went under.  She could feel the cold fingers tapping her ribs and-

“What the fuck Stephania!” Ben2Times yelled. “Who the fuck are you talking to?!” he yelled and shook her shoulders.

“Oh, was I talking?” she asked.

“Wha- fuck yes you were going on really fast about some super scary shining lady shit… crawling up your bed I don’t wanna hear that shit right now… ughhhh.. jeez…” Ben2Times said.

Stephania looked down at the dingy comforter and gathered her thoughts.  “Was I talking out loud?”

“Yes!” Ben2Times said.  “And you were starting to tap me in my chest with your fingers.  More like jab.”

“Oh… my bad.”

She looked over at him, “Am I talking out loud now?”

“No,” Ben2Times replied, “You’re talking normal, in our heads.  …damn, that was scary.”

She stretched her legs out and craned her neck. “Well get over it. It’s over now, let’s not make a federal case about it.” she said.

Ben2Times got up and walked to the window of the room.  He made a little cup in the blinds with his fingers and jumped back when he saw the eye.

“Stephania,” he whispered loudly, “Come here.” He motioned to her and bent down to the carpet.

“What? Why are you whispering?”

Ben2Times put his finger to his lips for her to be quiet and looked around the room wildly.  He found the switch and crawled over to it to turn out the light, then he crawled back toward Stephania.

“There’s someone at the window!” he hissed in her ear, “and they’re watching us.”

“No, it’s not.” she hissed back, “you’re probably being paranoid again… ever since that leech…”

“No!” Ben2Times hissed louder, “I saw its eye. It’s there… watching us.”

“Ok, ok.” Stephania stood up and started to strip off her clothes. “You think a groppy little eyeball is going to scare me after that scary-ass shit I just told you about my auntie…” She laughed and kicked away her pants.

Ben2Times stopped being scared for a moment while she crossed her arms in front of her and then lifted up her shirt.  She tossed it over the back of a chair.

“Well,” she said and looked over pointedly at Ben2Times, “Only one thing left…” she smiled and hooked her thumbs under the sides of her g-string and pulled it to the floor.

When she bent over Ben2Times completely forgot the eyeball and had a hard time understanding where they were or why they were there or what constellation they were on exactly.

Stephania cleared her throat and headed toward the door.

“Wait!” he yelled, “Stephania no!”

But it was too late and she did a full out Bruce Lee spin and kicked open their own door.

“Hellllllooo EYEBALL MAN!!” she screeched and started to bunny hop out the door.

“Why is she bunny hopping?” Ben2Times thought.

“Because it’s funny!” she yelled back and continued to hop nakedly down the hallway.

Ben2Times snapped out of it and ran into the yellow lit hall.  It was night out and the 2nd floor balcony hallway gave a pretty good view out into the night.  He looked left and right and down below the railing… but they were alone.

“See!” Stephania yelled back over her green shining shoulder, “Just you and me Ben!” and she hopped a little further down the hallway.

He couldn’t help himself but grin as he watched her green butt bounce up and down the aisle. “What an idiot..” he thought.

“Hey I heard that…” he heard.

Just then the door to Room #1 flew open.  Stephania stopped hopping and turned to walk quickly to their room.  She ducked in the door just as someone emerged from Room 1.

It was Glen!

“Glen!” Ben2Times yelled.  “Hey man, we need to talk to you-“

Ben2Times stopped short as he saw the look in Glen’s eyes.  Glen was terrified.

“Glen? What happened?  Are you ok?” Ben2Times asked.

“H…hel…help me…”

Stephania ran back out of the room while pulling on her pants leg and grabbed Ben2Times.

“Do not touch him… don’t even get near…” she said.

“Why?” Ben2Times asked, “He needs help.  We need to help him-“

“No!” she replied, “He has the touch.”

“The touch?  What touch?”

Before she could answer a hand slowly emerged from the bottom of Room 1’s doorway.  It finger walked its way into the light and stopped short right at the wrist. It was half in the dark and half in the light, a weird disembodied hand doing that finger crawl thing you do when you finger walk toward something on a table…

“Whose hand is that?” Ben2Times whispered to Stephania.

“I don’t know. How should I know something like that?” she replied.

Glen turned his head slowly in their direction and looked at them with those pleading eyes.  Then his eyes turned from pleading to angry and then to pure hate.

“Uh oh.”

“Let’s get outta here…”

Glen’s eyes went from brown to a metallic-looking black and started to stream a black shiny liquid. The black tears dripped onto his sweat-stained white shirt as his forehead and skin started to concave in.  His upper face and eyes melted into his head and then a big gaping hole was there.  Almost immediately, one huge white and yellow-lined eye as big as a dinner plate popped out into the place where his two eyes had been.

Stephania shrieked and Ben2Times grabbed her hand as they ran back into their room and locked the door. Before they could drag the bed over to block the doorway they heard his heavy shoes clomping down the hall. As they were pushing the dresser up to fortify the bed they heard a small tapping at the window.

“Do not look out that window.” Ben2Times said.

“I know,” said Stephania, “But what do we do now?”

“Well, let’s just calm down first.” Ben2Times said. “Since you kicked out the lock we’re gonna have to figure out a way to fix that, but while Glen’s out there just tapping we’re gonna try to ignore it and you’re gonna finish telling me the story I asked for.” He picked up her shirt and then laid it back on the chair. “From the beginning.”

“Ok, well, first take out the note, I’m going to explain the first part.” she said.

They stopped and listened for the tapping.

It wasn’t there anymore.

Then they heard it.  A drip.

Oh good, the faucet still works, Ben2Times thought.

“Yes, it does.” He heard in his head.  But it wasn’t Stephania, it was Glen.

“Crap.” Ben2Times thought, “Now he wants to talk.”

“Well, just ignore him,” Stephania said, “Go under your dome.”

“Okay, good idea.” Ben2Times said and pictured himself crawling under his dome. He secured the heavy opaque glass and didn’t hear a thing.

“Can you hear me?” Stephania called.

“Yep, clear as ice.” he replied.




“How’d you get in here?”

“Oh… well.”

“Wait, what’s that?”

“I don’t hear anything?”



“….an eye for an eye is all I can buy…”

Ah fuck.”


THE END.  of this part)

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…And I was having a good day to.  Screw the em dash and all the dashes i will put them in hell with an inferno like dante so people can laugh at all his enemies for CENTURIES


-you are now a character- –in a short story i will write.  soon lol —- — – ——   –

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Your process essay
Fred Lux
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Yesterday, 2:10 PM
Stacy Hill
You replied on 2/15/2017 2:27 PM.
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Hello Stacy, 
I finally read the draft of your process essay. As usual, your writing takes me into unexpected places, and often works within realms I cannot quite fathom. I do not say that to mean that it should be different, only that I may not be the best reader of your work, for I do not always even know how I feel when reading your writing. This piece, in particular, feels like the monologue of a little girl who jumps all around (and why not?) but it is unclear where the piece is headed. In fact the draft literally ends mid-sentence at the bottom of page 3: "...measured out in "  Out in what? I am curious what "the hims" are. I am curious about the sailboat forms described on page 3. (By the way, use a dash — instead of a hyphen - on each side of "Keelboat form." I make a dash on my computer by pressing shift+option+the hyphen key.) 

I am not sure what to say about ways to revise what is here. Why should I care what a little girl has to say or think? It feels random. I have a hard time relating to little girls. And yet, clearly, many humans love thinking about childhood, who they are, what power they have, and how it affects our lives. What does writing from the perspective of this “paranoid” girl do for you? What does it allow you to explore? In what ways might it obscure things you could say more directly? These are the questions that come up for me when I am reading this piece. I want to understand it better than I do, but I need the piece itself to offer something of itself to me, to reach out. So far in my life, I have not really felt that little girls care much about me. This girl, too. I want to care about what this being says, but cannot find an entrance place, a way in, yet. 

Hope my comments stir up something valuable for you. Please know that you are free to ignore all that I say and write what you want. I am just trying to be honest, and also trying to say to you that I want to connect to your writing more than I do in this piece. At least as it is so far. I look forward to how you revise it.

Yeah, well…. yes it’s summer… but it’s snow.

“The answer is simple. As long as Hitler didn’t directly and adversely affect them, the vast majority of Germans didn’t give a toss for anyone else but themselves. Certainly not the Jews.”

“Being that a rather high percentage of the population were addicted to pervetin ‘amphetamine’ would they care if they did know, empathy is strongly subdued by this drug

I think in some ways that the Nazi laws And policies, where not so different to the ‘Jim Crow laws’ in USA, ‘apartheid’ in South Africa,

Citizens in the two countries of example where happy with these laws as a whole and saw nothing wrong with them, nothing was wrong with seeing a black person beaten by police or civilians, nor with vigilante justice of lynching etc”

Some were some weren’t. There was a lot of brainwashing going on under the regime, brainwashing that desensitized people to human suffering

Knew about it? Almost certainly. It’s rather difficult to have millions

lined up at train stations

quick to “concern themselves only with their private lives and tended not to think about what was happening to”

– So yeah we just read about all this stuff in history and I know people are fundamentally or pretty close to dumb these days or always high, also grabbing for money like I see all the time. Anyway- now I had to watch this show from Msnbc for class where they try to understand the trump voters. And I have to make a report on it about understanding and agreeing to disagree and blah blah blah. I wonder if everybody had a better understanding of the large amount of citizens of Germany that supported Hitler when he was elected, like if they were better understood then things would have turned out different. I don’t think so, I think they woulda just had a better head start

get the fuck outta here america

get the fuck out

We do so many shitty things.  Lock people up for no reason, step over the homeless, grab everybodies pussies all the time, no wonder this newer shit of building walls, banning people, torture, hate- it’s all seeping in the cracks that we deep every year by turning the blind eye

what a shitty fucking country I live in

I really do hate this motherfucker

I do

sorry mom